my hallmark moment

The other night as I was saying a goodnight prayer for Jem, I was reflecting on our day. It hadn't been a good one. He had been defiant and belligerent. I had gotten upset and used my angry voice. There had been struggles and apologies on both sides several times through the course of the day. As I thought about it and about how much I love him, I started to tear up. I said a quiet "amen" and then, as I was smoothing the hair back from his forehead I said, "You know what buddy? I love you. Even when I get angry with you, I still love you. I will always love you no matter what." And as I basked in the glow of that precious moment, my son looked at me and with a touch of exasperation said, "I know that Mommy. You've told me and told me. Like a bunch of times," and then rolled over to go to sleep. And my beautiful, touching Hallmark moment vanished.
I walked out of his room feeling embarrassed that I had actually started to tear up. Embarrassed that I had allowed my emotions to get the better of me because he obviously hadn't. Then I realized that his reaction was actually a gift of its own.  It was a confirmation that he has been listening, that he has heard me tell him that I still love him even when I'm upset or when he does something wrong. Maybe it wasn't the emotional bonding moment I had built up in my head but they don't all have to be
tearjerkers.

photo from: www.yourlogoresources.com