he's not mental, he's three

A sample of my day with Truett:

-As he was pulling his pants on this morning he calmly said to me, "Mommy, I don't love you. I love Daddy but I don't love you."

-After his pants were on, he asked me to button them. I told him that I would help him after he put his shirt on since I was in the middle of getting clothes for Caia. He found this unacceptable and proceeded to scream at me, "You have to button my pants! Button my pants!" He followed me downstairs and pummeled me with his tiny fists while I changed Caia's diaper and got breakfast around. When he started pulling magnets off of the fridge and throwing them around, I grabbed him and took him upstair, laid him on the floor, and told him that when he put his shirt on I would be happy to help him with his pants. He came back downstairs about a minute later with his shirt on and acted as though nothing had happened.

-When I told him that we were going to meet some friends at the park he said, "Sometimes I like you Mommy."

-He told me he was going to kick me after I told him that I couldn't play outside with him.

He was demanding and angry and self-absorbed and, sometimes, downright mean. And I realized that in anyone else that kind of behavior would be a sign of severe mental instability but for a three year old, it's just par for the course. Lucky me.
Thankfully not every day is so chock filled with these sort of things, but it happens more often than not. And all that I can do is try my best to meet each demand, each moment of anger, each unkind comment with love. I also have to continue to look at myself and see where Truett's behaviors are reflecting mine. Is he seeing me lose my cool and assuming that he can do the same? Do I give him the attention and focus that he needs so that he is able to think of other people and not only himself? Do I reflect a demanding or mean spirit? I'm not sure. I know that I don't always bleed love when Truett wounds me. Far too often I bleed anger and frustration.
I have no doubt that God gave me Truett for a reason. As I'm doing my best to navigate these tough years with him, he is shaping my character. Whether it's being shaped for the better or for the worse is entirely up to me and how I choose to respond to him and to myself when things are tough.