dying by comparison

I compare myself to other people a lot. It's almost an unconscious thing. Sometimes I come out on top and sometimes I come out on the very, very bottom. It could be comparing my appearance, my skills as a mom, my cooking, the way I run my house, the car I drive, the books I enjoy. You name it and I've probably used it as a way to place myself into a pecking order.
I compare myself to the other moms at preschool. You know, the ones who look like they are going to work at Glamour Magazine after they drop their kids off. And I'm there in my yoga pants and one of Sam's sweatshirts, congratulating myself for running a comb through my hair before I headed out the door. I come out on the bottom end of that comparison.
I compare myself to my ideal of what a good mom looks like. That betty-crocker-baking, flour-on-her-nose, smiling-as-she-folds-laundry, scrubbing-the-floor-with-a-sponge, craft-making, song-singing, game-playing, book-reading monstrosity that I just can't seem to live up to. Oh, and on top of all of that, she never loses her temper, she's always pleasant to be around, and she's never tired. Guess where I end up on that comparison?
I compare myself to friends, strangers, family members and fictional characters. If you've met me, at some point I have compared myself to you in some way. Don't worry. I pretty much always pick out great traits in other people to compare to the things I struggle with in myself. It is exhausting.
And I know I'm not alone in this. I know of many other women who do the same thing. We take away from our own value because it doesn't look a certain way. I hear another woman complimented on her beauty and automatically think that mine must not match up. My friend is complimented on her baking skills and I just know that I must not be up to par. Comparing myself with others doesn't allow me to rejoice in their gifts and abilities. I'm not able to thank God for their ability to make amazing artwork or their gift with hospitality because I'm too busy seeing the lack in myself.
I want to be better than this. I want to come to a place where I can celebrate other people for who they are and know that it doesn't detract from who I am. And I want to figure it out sooner rather than later so that I can help my kids to avoid that feeling of dying by comparison.

photo from: photobucket.com