buttons

How is it that my boys already know how to push each other's buttons? They both have managed to figure out what bothers the other one, what will bring the other one to the point of tears. And they use it.
Just today, the boys were playing out in the yard when I heard Jem start screaming for me. I ran out to see what was going on. Jem was standing in the yard. Truett was standing twenty feet away from him holding up a stick that had fallen from our willow tree. It's true that the stick was a good seven feet long and it's also true that Truett has been known to hit Jem. However, the circumference of the stick was about the size of a dandelion stem and Tru was nowhere near Jem. But Jem was convinced that Tru was going to hit him and he continued to scream and cry until I just told him to come inside.
This entire scenario plays out pretty much anytime Tru raises anything over his head. They could be two rooms apart and Jem will still start to scream and cry. And now, Tru does it just to get to Jemmy. He knows what happens, so he will simply stand in the living room and lift his toy sword over his head, and Jem will start to scream.
And it goes both ways. When Truett asks me questions, Jem likes to contradict my answer. I will tell Truett that we can go to the park or that he can have a banana and Jem will say, "No you can't." And they will argue back and forth until eventually Tru ends up crying. At that point, he will finally turn to me and say "Jemmy said ...". And I have to remind him that it doesn't matter what Jem says because he isn't in charge. But again, I know that Jem does it because he knows the type of reaction it will bring out in Tru.
I'm amazed that it starts so young. What is it inside of people that we sometimes enjoy hurting others? Is it just that we like the feeling of wielding power over them?  My brother and I were the same way growing up. You can bet I knew exactly what hurt him, exactly what humiliated him. And I did it plenty of times. Sometimes it was simply teasing and other times it was meant to hurt. And he did the same to me. I don't want my boys to be that way. I want them to be careful with other people and especially with each other. And just like with their good behavior, I see glimpses of them taking care of each other and loving each other. Now I just have to figure out how to turn the glimpses into something more permanent. Or maybe I should say that God will have to figure that one out since I'm not working with the best track record myself.


photo by Jane M.  http://www.flickr.com/photos/simplehearted/2404868566/