that one kid

Jem has been struggling at his new preschool. At his old school, he would have a rough day every once in a while. But at the new school, bad days have become much more frequent. I would walk into the classroom and see the teacher start to walk towards me out of the corner of my eye and I would want to hustle the kids out of the room and run away. My easy going kid had suddenly become that kid. You know, the one who doesn't listen and can't seem to control himself. The one that all of the other moms warn their kids about. "Don't play with that Miller boy. I don't like the things he does." That kid. There is usually one in every classroom and you just hope and assume that it won't be yours.
I had no idea what was causing this change. I would drop Jem off at his new preschool and when I picked him up he would be out of control. Calling me names, laughing insanely at everything, kicking anything in reach. It was such odd behavior and so out of character for him. And nothing seemed to help. I would take away privileges, I would offer rewards for good behavior. It didn't matter. Sam and I talked about it. What should we do? What could the problem be? How did this happen?
I would tell my friends about it and they would look at me with sympathy. No mom wants to have a child that is misbehaving at school. Because as a mom, the one thing you know for certain is that you are to blame for that behavior. If only you were more strict at home or if only you taught your child to be respectful of adults and kind to other children. If only you spent more focused time on your child, he wouldn't act this way. If only, if only, if only. And you start to feel like a failure and you start to question everything that you've ever done with that child from the day of his birth. It's an ugly downward spiral.
I was worried that I was going to have to pull Jem out of preschool. And I was envisioning him being suspended in kindergarten or expelled in first grade. But then I calmed down and started to regain my ability to think rationally and I noticed a trend in which the same three to four boys were consistently on yellow or red. When I asked Jem who he was playing with at school he named one of the boys who is also on red and yellow alot. So I suggested to Jem that he pick out one boy who stayed on green all of the time and start playing with him instead of the boys who are on red. And it seems to have worked. This past week he was on green all week and my visions of being called into the Principal's office on a weekly basis for my unruly child started going by the wayside. I have no idea if the good behavior will continue or if last week was a fluke but for now I'm going to just assume that it will continue. I have enough to worry about as it is.