A few nights ago Sam and I were watching Modern Family. During the episode, Claire and Phil started talking about their five year plan. They only had five years left before their youngest child headed off to college and they would be empty nesters. After we were done watching Sam turned to me and said, "Well, I guess we are on the 17 year plan."
I can't be on the 17 year plan. That sounds like ages and ages from now. The problem is that it is really tempting to skip ahead and think about what life might be like when my kids are all out of the house. What will it be like to have my time back? What will it be like to not have to pick up after anyone or to not worry about planning dinner? I can have my freedom back. Freedom to run out for ice cream at 8:30 with my husband. Freedom to make plans to go out with friends at the last moment instead of three weeks in advance. I miss that.
But if I let myself sit and think about all of the things that I miss, then I miss the stuff that is actually going on. I miss Truett being so excited about catching another salamander. I miss Jem's pride in his latest drawing. I miss requests to sit on the couch and read books. I miss watching how Sam interacts with the boys and how gentle he is with Caia.
It is hard to stay in the present and not look ahead to how things might be or look back at how things were. But I don't want to fast-forward and miss what God has for me in these moments. I don't want to come home to my empty house in 17 years and say, "I wish that I had been more present with them when they were here." There are going to be days when I am on countdown to bedtime. And there are going to be days when I miss my freedom. But there are also days when I realize how blessed I am and days when I wish I could stop time and keep them small. I just have to take each day for what it is and be present to it.

photo by: swisscan  http://www.flickr.com/photos/swisscan/1927990909/