But tonight I saw that I need to do some more work with them on how to accept an apology. We had an incident after dinner that included a stolen marshmallow. An apology was offered but there was no response. I prompted Jem, asking him what he needed to say to Truett and he insisted that he had already said it. Funny though that no one else heard him. And he refused to tell Truett that he forgave him or that it was okay and he accepted his apology. He tried to claim that he didn't remember what to say or that he had already said it. He ended up going to his room until he was able to come down and make things right.
When he finally made his appearance, he walked into the kitchen and said, "Daddy, I'm sorry." My parents were over for dinner and my mom, who had gone up to get him, prompted him by asking him what he was sorry for. And Jem said, "I'm sorry that you didn't hear me accept Tru's apology." I did my best not to laugh and we waited for him to offer a real apology.
Eventually, everything was sorted out and harmony was restored. As I'm thinking about it now, I realize that I could have saved all of us a good bit of screaming and crying and whining if I had just been content with Tru's apology. After all, he was the one who had taken one of Jem's marshmallows and then thrown a royal fit when it was taken away from him. He was the one who needed to apologize.
But...Tru came back and offered the apology on his own without any coaching or prompting. It takes humility and courage to apologize, to admit wrong doing. And I love that Truett is developing those character traits. I don't want him to lose that or to feel diminished because his brother just shrugs his apology off as if it isn't a big deal. It takes grace to accept an apology and that is another quality I want my kids to have. So this was a battle that I was willing to fight.
photo by: Cobra_11 http://www.flickr.com/photos/cobra_11/4130565324/
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