my stupid problem

Every once in while I get some time without any kids. A grandparent will take them out for lunch or to the market and I'll find myself with an hour or two of freedom. I will be overwhelmed with gratitude and then I will begin my transformation into a chicken without its head. You can ask Sam. Suddenly I'm running around flapping my hands, completely flustered because I only have two hours and what should I do with my two hours? Do I go to the book store and sit and read? Do I go and look for a new pair of sandals since my flip-flops are looking a little ragged? Do I stay home and clean because I know I'll be able to rip through it since there won't be any need to stop? Do I drive in my car and play real music cranked up at a high volume? Do I take a nap? See. Chicken without a head. But those two hours are so precious that the thought of wasting them makes me want to cry. And I get overwhelmed with the possibilities and usually end up doing one thing while thinking the entire time about how maybe I should have done something else. Am I the only one who does this? I wonder if other moms, given some time alone, are just as apt to be confused about what to do with themselves. Are they overwhelmed by the freedom or are they better able to handle it? It's like my inner two-year old comes out and I just run around yelling and bumping into things. I am not normal.


photo by Jacob...K  http://www.flickr.com/photos/jacobkrejci/3304454742/