The next morning, I was sitting at the computer figuring out the menu and grocery list for the coming week. Jem wandered downstairs, said good morning to me and went in and sat at the bar in the kitchen with his leap pad. We were both absorbed in doing our own thing and then Jem says to me, "Mommy, did you enjoy your movie last night? And what did you see?"
It was a small thing but, at the same time, it wasn't small at all. With those two questions Jem showed me that he had paid attention to where I had gone the night before. He also showed that he was interested in knowing how my time was, that he cared about my evening. It was this beautiful moment of having my child treat me like a real person with feelings and value.
And maybe you are reading this and thinking that I'm blowing this out of proportion. But let me add that two nights previously, I had spent some time struggling with how I often feel disrespected, under appreciated and devalued. I'm living with two preschoolers and a baby. There isn't a lot of "Oh Mom you're so wonderful! What would we ever do without you?" going around. It isn't even about the recognition. It is more about despairing that I've somehow messed up and missed the part of parenting where I teach my children how to treat other people with kindness and respect. And I know that this is a stage of life and that most of this has to do with their age, but that doesn't always make it easier to handle. I spent that evening letting God know that I was struggling and that He could jump in at any time. He didn't change my children or me. Instead, through Jem's question, He gave me a glimpse into how wonderful it is to feel valued and seen by your children. And really, that is all I need. To just catch a glimpse every once in a while as a reminder of what I'm working so hard for.
photo from: bunchofpants http://www.flickr.com/photos/bunchofpants/6971626/
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