extremes

It has been a day of extremes for me. The morning started out rough. The demands were plentiful and gratitude was in short supply. And when I tried to explain to my boys that it hurts my feelings when they disrespect me, it went in one ear and out the other. So I spent the drive to preschool feeling wounded and daydreaming about kindergarten.
Then I stumbled across a video clip on facebook about a couple who had adopted nine children, some with severe disabilities. I watched it and cried and thought about emailing Sam to tell him that we needed to adopt a child. Not now, of course. I'm not completely insane. But the video led me to the website  http://ilikegiving.com/ and I read more stories and watched more videos about people living generously and I felt encouraged and uplifted.
This was followed by some play time with Jem and a hand-made ornament from Tru. And I found myself looking forward to going up to the playroom with them after lunch. Then I saw the wooden chest with its lid hanging askew, screws on the carpet, pieces of wood that had been snapped off. Another thing that one of them destroyed on purpose. And as I was on my hands and knees looking for the other tiny screw, I looked up and saw the snow man that one of them had drawn on the wall with a pen.
I am emotionally spent and there are still many hours left in the day. Sometimes, being a mom feels like a train ride to crazy town.

photo from:  proverbsofeustace.blogspot.com