perspective

Last night we took the kids to Chic-fil-a. There were plenty of families there; parents coming for the indoor play area more than anything else. And there was a mother there with her three children. I wouldn't have noticed her except that her oldest child, a girl, came over to our table. She was drawn by the sight of Caia's car seat as so many children are. There aren't many kids who aren't interested in babies. But as she came over I quickly realized that something was different. It was in the way she stood, with her body pressed up against the car seat. It declared itself in her quick, impulsive movements as she grabbed for Caia's toys. And it was there in her quick speech and lack of eye contact.

Her mom rushed over and apologized. I assured her that is was fine. She said thank you and apologized again while telling me that her daughter had autism. And I watched this mom lead her daughter back to their table. I watched as her daughter tore apart the flower that was on their table for decoration. I watched as she crouched in her seat to reach that hanging lamp above their table. She swatted it with her hand sending it swaying erratically back and forth. And her mom never once lost her cool or seemed embarrassed. She was calm and firm and loving and it was a beautiful thing to see.

Too often I worry about my children’s behavior not because of what it says about them but because of what other people might think it says about me. If I can’t control my kids then people will think that I’m not a good mom. No one wants to be that mom; the one whose kid is throwing a monster temper tantrum in the store or running around not listening. But for most moms, that stage passes and there are new issues to deal with, new lessons to teach. And then there are those moms who are raising a child with special needs. Moms who might not know when or if any particular stage will pass but who soldier on doing their best as they love their children. Perspective can be a much needed thing.