having boys

Caia received a new toy at an early family Christmas party this year. It's a cow that shakes and giggles when you push its nose. And of course, because it is designed for a 12 to 18 month old, the boys are fascinated with it. I was fine letting them play with it until the other day in the van. We were on our way home from somewhere when a small voice filled with laughter called out to me from the back, "Mom. The cow is tickling my bird!" To which I promptly replied, "That's not what the cow is for buddy." (And yes. I am one of those moms who doesn't use the proper terms for anatomy. I never planned to be this mom but this is where I find myself.)
I tried to not make it into a big deal. But it was my first experience with one of my boys and that type of thing. I was partly horrified, thinking, "Not yet! I'm not ready for this." And I was partly resigned,  thinking, "Of course. What boy wouldn't put a laughing, vibrating toy cow in his lap?" And so it begins.
The cow no longer travels in the car with us.

a little help please

I mentioned in a previous post that I sometimes become frustrated with Jem's inability to buckle his seatbelt. He sits in the very back of the car so getting to him isn't super easy. And sometimes he pulls his seatbelt across and snaps it into place without a hitch. Then there are the other times when he can't seem to get the buckle to click into place or he doesn't really even try. He just flails around.
When that happens, I don't always react super well. Today, after picking Truett up from preschool, Jem couldn't manage to buckle up. It didn't help that there had been some earlier behavioral problems. This was just icing on the cake. I found myself leaning over Caia's seat to reach back to him and flapping my arms around like some deranged lunatic because I was so frustrated that I couldn't manage anything else. And do you know what happened? He laughed. And why shouldn't he? It was ridiculous.
So why does it happen? Why do I get worked up over a seat belt? I think it is the same reason that I sometimes get worked up over Truett not being able to put his pants on. I've seen him do it so many times so I know that he can do it. And yet, there are those days when the legs get twisted. Or those days when nothing seems wrong but he still insists that he can't do it. The frustration comes because it feels like a step backward. I finally have the freedom to lay out clothes for my kids and trust that they can put them on without needing help. I can finally open the door to the car and expect that one of my children can get in and get himself buckled. So when that doesn't work, it can throw me out of whack, especially on a day when they simply refuse to try.
Thankfully, I'm still learning and growing. And today, when my five-year old laughed at me for being insane, I realized that it's just a seat belt. I also discovered that perhaps there are times when my children magically lose the ability to do something because they just want to be a little kid who needs Mommy's help.
The seat belt may have won today but next time I'm going to take it as a chance to look at my boy and say, "I would love to help you."

five signs

Five signs that you've fallen behind in the housekeeping department:

1. You can't find your vacuum.

2. You walk into the bathroom to get a drink of water for one of the kids and your shoes stick to the floor in front of the toilet.

3. You have to wash your baby's hands after she crawls around on the kitchen floor.

4. You still have small piles of laundry sitting on your window seat from four days ago and one load still in the dryer.

5. Once you finally locate your vacuum, you use it on the carpet in your child's bedroom and it sounds like you are vacuuming at the beach. You haven't been to the beach.

apparently it's all in the timing

Did you know that the most loving moms are the ones who read to their kids at night before bedtime? It's true. I just read it in a book. And suddenly all of my hours of morning and afternoon book reading seem completely pointless. Here I had thought I was doing something fun and educational and loving with my kids. We head to the library every two weeks and pull out eight to twelve books. Then we sit on the couch, one boy on each side, and we read them. All of them. Day after day. Come to find out, I had the time of day wrong and now their tiny hearts are starving for love.
I guess I should clarify by saying that I read that statement in a novel and, yes, I do know the difference between fiction and non-fiction. But still. I read that and suddenly found myself wanting because, according to this author, the only proper and loving time to read to kids is at bedtime. And in case you haven't figured it out, I usually don't read to my kids at bedtime. Every once in a while we have story time but it isn't a part of our routine. Maybe when the kids are in school all day, we will shift our reading time to the evenings.
To this author I'd like to say, "Shame on you for making such a sweeping statement about moms loving their kids." And to myself I'd like to say, "You are awesome! And it was only a novel so you can let it go now."

photo by: My hubby. The role of Brooke is being played by Opa.

but it's december

I have heard a few complaints about the weather today. Yes it is December and it is strange to walk around the neighborhood to look at Christmas decorations and not need to wear a coat. I know December is supposed to be cold and that some people think a warm day during this month signals the end of the world. (polar ice caps melting and all of that stuff) And I know that when the weather heads back down to the 30's and 40's in a few days, people will probably get sick and runny noses will abound. But if you are one of those people who is shaking your fist at the blue sky and saying, "Curse you beautiful day!" or something like that, then you are a December purist and probably don't have preschool-aged boys. Because as a mom of two preschoolers of the male gender, I can say in all honesty that this day is a blessing from God. He has seen the plight of the weary, down-trodden moms who know that winter is coming and that there is no proper way to release a four-year old's energy inside of a house. You might think you've gotten him worn down with a rousing game of monster chase or tag but you'll be wrong. And the energy will build exponentially until he explodes.
Today was a day to push the kids out of the house, to take a walk, to play on the swings. Today was a chance to burn off some energy and enjoy nature. Today was God's nod to the stay-at-home moms. And I, for one, am very thankful.

photo by: immagina http://www.flickr.com/photos/immagina/163899554/

setting the standard

Sometimes, as a parent, the best you can hope for is that someone else's kid will do something worse than what your kid just did. That you can go home saying, "At least little Timmy didn't do that." You can pat yourself on the back for being such a great parent and breathe a sigh of relief, all the while knowing that the next time your kid might be the one everyone else is thankful for because he/she made their child look like an angel.
On Saturday night we had a family Christmas party with my mother-in-laws extended family. We see most of them once a year at this party and there are a number of young kids. We have a big potluck dinner and then Santa comes and hands out a few gifts to the kids. As we were heading down the table, filling plates for the kids, I looked over to see Truett sticking his tongue into the newly opened tub of country crock. He couldn't just stick his finger in it. He had to go straight for the tongue. I told him to stop immediately and he looked at me sheepishly and said that he was sorry. I then proceeded to scoop off the top layer of the butter tub with a big spoon and apologize to anyone that was within earshot, especially the people coming next in line. I'm guessing they skipped the rolls.
So yeah, on Saturday night Truett was that kid. All other children were judged by his tongue-in-the-butter measuring stick. And they came out looking like champs.

photo by: drinkerthinker  http://www.flickr.com/photos/drinkerthinker/143153733/

today

Today was a good day. It wasn't a perfect day but it was a good one. Jem still struggled with his attitude. Truett didn't obey the first time or the second time or the third time. Caia is pushing some teeth and not sleeping well. And I still got frustrated by Jem's inconsistency with being able to buckle his own seat belt. So yeah, not perfect.
But there was that stretch of 15 minutes when Jem came downstairs from his nap and found me watching Chopped on the couch, because where else would I be, and he curled up next to me and we watched together. And there was that moment during breakfast when Tru just looked at me with that little smirk he has and I felt overwhelmed by how much I love him. There was the moment when Jem told me he had learned how to read and proceeded to read a book to me that he has memorized, checking with me every few pages to make sure he hadn't missed a word. And there was the excitement in Tru's voice when I arrived at preschool to pick him up. Add in a little girl who is standing next to my chair, clutching her monkey with the pink bow and staring up at me, and how could it not be a good day?

picture from: shirtoid.com